I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
