take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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