I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize