i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
