I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize