I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize