we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
