Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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