i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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