i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
