I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
