My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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