if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
