the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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