discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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