Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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