I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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