So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
