i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
