You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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