My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
