I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize