we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
