I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
