Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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