Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
