Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
