Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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