First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
