i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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