I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
