these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
