this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
