i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
