Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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