Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
