Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
