my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
