You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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