Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
