So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize