the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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