do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
