the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
