Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
