We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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