OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
