Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
be right there i have to get my cape
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
