I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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