I wanna bring you to show and tell
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
