I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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