no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
