It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
