And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
