Duck Duck Cougar?
home. puking in laundry basket.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
