you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
