If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize