so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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