real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
