One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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